4 Christmas Dresses That Say, ‘I’ve Never Had a Dick in My Mouth’

This slim-cut vibrant dress with a jeweled neckline may seem flashy, but that hem extends over the knee, so consider your family utterly blind to your love of blowing dudes. Not only does this dress say, “I never get a sore throat from my aggressive cock-sucking ways,” it says, “I have no idea that is even a possibility because as far as I know, penises are just for peeing.” Success!