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I LIVED IT: I Caught Consumption to Fulfill My Cottagecore Aesthetic

‘Who Finished The Toilet Paper And Didn’t Get A New Roll?’ Says Woman Who Lives Alone

I LIVED IT: I Exited a Car While Also Holding a Bag

How to Tell When Your Minion Is Ripe

Smart! This Woman Puts Bug Spray Exactly Where She Just Got a Mosquito Bite

Hot Person Looking at You Because You’re Looking at Them, But Still

Muppets Formally Apologize for Taking Manhattan

‘I Deserve a Little Treat,’ Says Woman Who Has Never Denied Herself Anything

How to Gain Muscle Mass Even Though You Are Going to Die

I LIVED IT: I Wore Cowboy Boots to a Party and Now They’re Asking Me to Birth This Calf

Why I’m Freezing My Eggs Inside the Eye Sockets of a Spongebob Popsicle

How to Cope With the Fact That Your Boyfriend Is Just a Person That Someone Went to High School With

Why I Stopped Engaging in Aftercare and Started Dumping Gatorade on Him After Sex

I LIVED IT: The Government Took Away My Rights and Still Expected Me to Come to Its Birthday Party

Crime Skyrockets as Government Invents New Crimes

Diva Cup Introduces Diva Chalice for Only the Most Worthy of Periods

Woman Forms Lifelong Bond Through Eye Contact With Equally Stoned Pizza Delivery Man

How I Found an Affordable Studio by Becoming a Little Cockroach

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