

Living

Woman Decides Laundry Day Is the Perfect Day to Wear Lingerie
“Fashion is all about never standing still,” she said, sniffing each of her bras to see if any were clean.
News

Mom Misses Cute Age When Children Were Entirely Beholden to Her Godlike Authority
“I really miss when they were small and cute and didn’t yet have the mental or physical faculties to go against my wishes.”
News

Devastating! Thanksgiving Weed Cousin Now Turkey Trot 5K Cousin
“They’re running 5Ks at 7:30 a.m. on a holiday break…they might as well be dead.”
Style

Maybelline Unveils New Lipstick Specially Designed to Write Ominous Threats on Mirrors
It will not come off with soap and water when your nemesis dramatically tries to wipe the message away with a bathroom paper towel.
News

Silence on Other End of Line Suggests Friend Also Using Phone for Twitter
“Sorry — I got kind of bored!”
News

Woman at Gates of Heaven Rejected for Taking Work Call in Coffee Shop
Sources confirm Leanne made not one but 75 separate work calls from a variety of coffee shops over the course of her life.
News

Woman Who Offered to Meet in Friend’s Neighborhood Didn’t Expect to Be Taken Up on It
“Instead of being like, ‘Don’t be silly – let’s meet in the middle!’ she said, ‘Okay, thanks!'”