Prayers of Millions Powerless to Protect Pope Against 17 Minutes With J.D. Vance

News

Lack of Car Not Deterring Woman From Taking Free Bumper Sticker

“I love feeling part of something!”

Womanspiration

Goals! Woman’s Shoes Not Appropriate for Any Occasion

“They’re simultaneously too much and too little.”

Living

QUIZ: Is It Long Covid or Stupid Brain?

6 times 8 is 48. True or false.

Entertainment

QUIZ: Can This Singer-songwriter Get Away With Having a Bad Voice or Are They a Woman?

Would you say the fact that their voice is bad “highlights how down-to-earth they are?”

News

Facebook Marketplace Interaction 20% About Furniture, 80% About Desire to Be Chased

It’s about feeding the deep psychological desire to be sought after.

News

Woman Entering Grocery Store Loses Capacity to Plan More Than Two Meals Ahead

“I guess for lunch I’ll have corn?”

Living

Spring Cleaning! Donation Pile Dutifully Moved From Corner of Bedroom to Living Room

She’s moving the pile out of her own space and into everyone else’s space.

Thoughts

Look, It’s Up to El Salvador if They Want to Fix Our Indisputably Evil Fuckup

Sorry, did I say fuckup? I meant victory.

News

REPORT: Boyfriend Stuck in Duvet Cover

“He told me he had this ‘special way’ to put a duvet cover back on.”

Thoughts

Why Cigarettes Are Visually Disgusti – Oh, a Woman Is Holding One? Never Mind

My eyes pop out of my head, my jaw drops, and my tongue rolls onto the floor.

Love and Sex

REPORT: Boyfriend Assumed You Were Booking That

“You always book stuff! So I assumed you would continue to book stuff!”

Living

Woman Figures Single Use Plastic Less Bad if She Uses It Way Too Many Times

“Single-use plastics are 100-use plastics in my home, baby!”

News

Woman Spends Entirety of 30s Resting Between Sets at the Gym

“A decade is roughly enough time to start to feel like I’m ready to start that second set.”

News

REPORT: Minnesotan Ambulance Just Needs to Scoot Past Ya

“We’re certainly in a rush, but we don’t mean to inconvenience anyone.”

News

Introvert Requires 48 Hours of Alone Time to Recover From 15-Minute Conversation

“Engaging verbally with another human just drops my energy levels to zero.”

Thoughts

Why I Stopped Focusing on the Negatives and Started Focusing on the Gay Incest in ‘The White Lotus’

Everything will be okay. Everything will not be okay with Saxon, but that’s not my problem.

Living

Scary! Younger Brother Is Someone’s Best Friend’s Annoying Boyfriend

“My god, I have full body chills.”

News

Roommate Convinced Apartment Is Haunted by Ghost Who Only Ever Takes Out the Recycling

“Sometimes, certain hard plastics and empty cans of soda are also gone.”

Living

Woman Would Have Awesome Thoughts if She Were Comfortable With Even One Minute of Boredom

“Why would I opt for boredom? Boredom sucks.”

News

Woman Completes Every Single Work Task Between 4 p.m. and 4:45 p.m.

Harmony maintains that she can only work under extreme duress.

Living

How to Wake Up Earlier Even Though That’s Going to Make Your Day Longer

Attempt to find joy in being awake and alive?

News

REPORT: Meaning of Tattoo Will Certainly Convince Parents to Like It

Your parents hate tattoos, but maybe this time things will be different for no discernible reason at all.

News

Woman Spends Day Mostly Just Combining Uppers and Downers

Georgia’s heart rate is sitting at a very concerning 90 beats per minute.

News

Woman Taking Steps to Curb Negative Self-Talk or Some Stupid Shit Like That

“At least that’s my latest stupid fucking idea.”