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Reductress

Women's News. Feminized.

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Woman Knows Exactly What She’d Say if She Were a Guest on This Podcast

News

Workplace Excited to Add More Diversity as Long as It Doesn’t Change Anything

“Sure, we don’t have an HR department and none of us have gone through sensitivity training, but I don’t really think that’ll be a problem.”

Womanspiration

Nice! This Woman’s Schedule Just Opened up Because She Forgot What She Needed to Do Today

Enjoy your day, Stacy!

Love and Sex

QUIZ: Is He Quiet and Mysterious or Just Obeying the Laws of the Library?

Has he ever told you to “Shhh”?

News

Ageism? Adult Woman Too Big for the Ball Pit

“What’s next? Am I ‘too old’ to eat at my own goddamn table?” Francesca asked, pointing to a plastic Playmobil table.

Love and Sex

QUIZ: Is He Criticizing Biden in a Republican Way or in a Cool Way?

Is he an avid Fox News consumer or making some really fair points about the failures of our current administration?

Womanspiration

Nice! Woman Gives Up Drinking but Not Sleeping With Her Makeup On

Now, I still wake up feeling gross, but without the hangover!

News

Study Finds Nothing More Embarrassing Than Accidentally Playing Motivational TikTok at Full Volume

The study confirmed that of all motivational TikToks, the ones about passive income are the worst.

Living

How to Bond With Your Newborn Even Though You Don’t Watch Any of the Same Shows

You can still connect on your other hobbies! What about rubbing mashed peas all over your face?

News

Woman Masterfully Spreads Three Dance Moves Across Entire Evening

Sources confirmed Mia relies heavily on her three signature moves: a little arm wave, a little hip shake, and a little jump.

Living

4 Sparkling Waters That Hurt If You Drink Them Fast

It’s like if water said, “Fuck you!” 

Thoughts

Why I’m Cutting Out Processed Foods Unless They’re Cheap, Convenient, or Taste Good

I’ve never been happier, or more full of mozzarella sticks!

News

Wow! Archeologists Confirm This Pompeii Couple Was Keeping It Casual

“This is a classic example of two buds just hanging out, just shooting the shit, not wanting to be tied down by anything too serious.”

News

Woman Worried About TikTok Having Her Private Data Switches to Facebook Watch

“I just feel like I can trust Facebook.”

Thoughts

I’ve Studied Everything There Is to Know About Posing. Here’s Why I Always Throw Up a Peace Sign Anyway.

Is it a sickness? Is it a curse? Who knows!

Thoughts

Too Lifelike? This AI Chatbot Just Asked Me If I’ve Seen ‘Garden State’

When I said I had seen the movie, it just ignored me and proceeded to explain it scene-for-scene anyways.

Style

How to Get a Non-Invasive Facelift by Getting Cornrows

Commit to the initial pain of fresh cornrows, and you are certain to have a face so lifted your boobs will get jealous.

Thoughts
woman smiling

Why I’m Getting Facial Fillers So I Can Hop on the Trend of Dissolving Them

The clock is ticking, and I definitely need to ride the wave this time!

Thoughts

No One Takes Me Seriously at Work Cause I’m a Woman and All My Notebooks Are Lisa Frank

Misogyny comes in so many forms.

Thoughts

Help! I Have the Same Attachment Style as Dobby

The subservient character from a fictional universe and I seem to approach relationships in the exact same way.

Living

How to Get Your Student Loans Paid Off by Convincing the Government You’re a Bank

The government will have to bail you out because you are just a pathetic little bank.

Thoughts

Why I Stopped Politely Asking Men to Leave Me Alone and Started Lightly Touching the Smalls of Their Backs

“Hey, baby, can you scooch?”

Love and Sex

QUIZ: Is Your Attachment Style Anxious, Avoidant, or Divergent?

Do you cling to love, run from it, or are you a dangerous entity that threatens the very foundation of our faction system?

News

Woman Patiently Waiting for Credit Card Debt to Be Forgiven Too

They should forgive people who bought too many J. Crew knits at the outlet store.

Living

How to Continue Living When a Dog Doesn’t Like You

Does he know something you don’t? Can he hear your thoughts?

News

Woman Who Sang Alto in Middle School Still Mad She Never Got to Do the Melodies

“I never got to hit a high note. Well, mostly because I couldn’t.”

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POPULAR:

  • Want to Cut Down on Meal Prep Time? Buy a Family-Sized Box of Lucky Charms
  • They/Them Pronouns Suddenly Easy for Person Misgendering Trans Woman
  • How to Get Your Student Loans Paid Off by Convincing the Government You’re a Bank
  • Catch-22? This Woman Needs to Take Anxiety Medication to Pick Up Her Anxiety Medication
  • Wow! Archeologists Confirm This Pompeii Couple Was Keeping It Casual
  • ‘Okay,’ Says Woman For No Reason Every 30 Minutes While Alone In Her Apartment

WOMANSPIRATION

Reductress - Pregnant Woman

This Woman Is Having a Baby so It Can Learn to Code and Then Teach Her to Code

Catch-22? This Woman Needs to Take Anxiety Medication to Pick Up Her Anxiety Medication

Real Life Meet-Cute? This Man Said Something Problematic to a Woman in a Bookstore

see more...

PRINT EDITION

Twin Flames? Both the People in This Couple Are Clinically Insane

‘That’s Jazz, Baby!’ Says Woman Trying to Justify Her Haphazard Approach to Punctuation

Why I’m Not Falling for My Ex’s Tricks Unless He Says ‘Ta Da!’ at the End

see more...

THOUGHTS

I LIVED IT: My Celebrity Crush Is Dating a White Woman

Why I Stopped Faking Orgasms and Started Deepfaking Them

Why I’m Having Kids So I Have Something to Trade if the Devil Ever Wants to Make a Deal

see more...
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