In a tragic story out of Eugene, OR, it has been reported that Harley Bonnett-Rochester and Kevin Gularto’s Zoom wedding will unfortunately include the Cha-Cha Slide.
“We wanted our virtual nuptials to be as true-to-life as possible,” said Harley. “So of course we have to have the wedding reception classic!”
“Sure, people will be doing the dance alone in their houses, but it really gets everyone involved in the fun of a wedding!” added Kevin.
The couple went on to explain their warped reasoning for inflicting this onto their guests celebrating the comfort of their own homes.
“We’ve scheduled cupcake delivery for all our guests, we’re doing a virtual bouquet toss, it’s just like a regular wedding,” said Kevin. “It just makes sense that there’d be regular wedding music. You know, basically just the Cha-Cha Slide”
“Besides, we paid good money for this DJ and his home Zoom set up,” added Harley. “We wanna get our money’s worth.”
Wedding attendees are not thrilled.
“I was excited for a virtual wedding specifically because there wouldn’t be any obligatory dancing,” said Mitchell Webb. “Now I’m really considering just Irish signing off when the music starts.”
“Yeah, I’ll definitely send a gift, but I’m absolutely not doing a line dance solo in my tiny apartment,” said Sarah Lowell. “Quarantine has given me some new personal lows, but that is one I refuse to stoop to.”
“Although, if they promise not to play the Cotton Eyed Joe, I’ll at least stick around through the toasts,” Sarah added.
“Can’t make that promise, unfortunately,” said Harley. “That’s up right after The Cha-Cha Slide and right before the Cupid Shuffle.”