‘You Call That a Hug?’ Says Man Giving Unsolicited Hugs

Los Angeles resident Spencer Gaines is unimpressed with the quality of hugs he has been getting from various acquaintances, and he’s not afraid to say it.


“You call that a hug?” Gaines asked a friend of a friend in the Trader Joe’s cheese section. The comment prompted uncomfortable silence while she shrugged uncomfortably and glanced toward the soft cheese section.


Subpar hugs are a big issue for Gaines, who brings up the issue almost as often as he spreads the joy of unsolicited hugs. It doesn’t matter if he’s at a party, an office or a funeral – Gaines is unwavering in his quest to educate women on the proper way to reciprocate his generous but definitely uninvited hugging.


“I don’t know what’s wrong with these girls,” said Gaines. “It’s like no one ever taught them how to get close to someone. What gives?”


Gaines expressed his disappointment in a particular lack of closeness, warmth, and firmly pressed boobs in said interactions.



“I met the guy once, why is he hugging me?” said Sarah Ram, who recently received a hug from Gaines while in line at a pharmacy. “Like, I’m just just trying to refill my prescription for my eczema medication and all the sudden I’m getting chastised for not pressing my boobs into a guy I met once at Abby’s housewarming. What does he this guy want?”


What Gaines wants is typically made clear by his follow ups, such as “Come one, give me a real hug,” or “lets try that again.” These sentiments are tend to be met with discomfort, a nervous chuckle or a blatant attempt to change the subject like with questions like, “So how do you know Jen?” or “So what kind of cheese are you getting?”


Gaines remains committed to bringing attention to the issue of subpar hugs.


When asked if perhaps the women weren’t interested in hugging him, Gaines paused. “I’m sure it’s like a societal issue of some people just not being raised right.”