In an unsettling and misguided effort to form a stronger bond with the 100 students in his lecture, Professor Alexander M. Sanders has decided to share every detail of his recent divorce with his unsuspecting Advanced Film Theory class.
“I hold my students to the highest standards of professionalism possible. No late homework, no tardiness,” said Sanders when asked about his teaching style. “But I also don’t see any problem in letting them know my wife ran away with our accountant and I walked in on them fucking. I guess it just doesn’t go both ways.”
Wow – this tenured professor’s ability to be vulnerable with people who are paying to listen to him is inspiring AF!
Still, Sanders believes his unconventional teaching style, if you can call it that, is superior to the other professors in his department.
“I want my students to be comfortable enough to share their views on Coppola’s directing style while I share the details of my crumbling marriage,” says Sanders. “It’s important that we’re vulnerable with each other. I mean really knew each other I think we would all respect each other. Except no one should respect my wife. She’s a bitch.”
Damn! He dropped the ‘b’ word, too? That’s how you connect with the youth!
“Whenever he starts talking about his divorce, he starts to look really sad, and I feel kinda bad for their three children,” said Renarda Brown, one of Sanders’ students. “Hopefully they work it out. And I should say I have learned absolutely nothing in this course besides how to talk someone down from a panic attack, which I’ve had to do with our professor twice now.”
Not only have some students walked away from class confused, other students also have no idea about the significance of the digital revolution in relation to film theory.
But they do know all about the custody battle that will ensue over the family’s Chihuahua, Bean.
“I think we would probably all benefit if he just stuck to teaching what’s on the syllabus instead of explaining to us why he can’t have a serious conversation about his relationship with his wife unless he’s high,” said Sanders’ TA, Sophia Mendez.
“It definitely feels like some sort of privacy violation. Especially for his ex-wife, Professor Mia Irwin, whose class I also TA for.”
