Talk about a man going his own way! Amateur rider Chuck Ames is in critical condition after patently refusing to grab a man’s hips while riding on the back of a motorcycle.
Instead of safely riding by touching another man on the hips, Chuck Ames chose to firmly grasp the sides of his seat as the motorcycle accelerated to 40 miles per hour. Upon making a sharp turn, Chuck was thrown from the back of the motorcycle and sustained severe injuries as a result of his refusal to look even a little bit gay.
In hindsight, Ames realized the biggest concern was that a hot, sexy woman would see him touching another man. “I don’t even hug my dad in public,” he told reporters from his hospital bed before being intubated. “Obviously I just didn’t want to risk it.”
Ultimately, it did not matter: Several women saw him fall off the motorcycle, who ultimately dialed 911 for help.
“Gay or straight, I really don’t care what his sexuality is,” says one witness, Gina Maldonado. “I would never have sex with somebody that stupid.”
It’s not even that Chuck would be opposed to kissing Teddy as like a joke or something. But touching another man’s hips? That’s just gay in his eyes.
When asked if he’ll take additional safety measures the next time he rides on the back of a motorcycle, Chuck said: “Maybe next time I’ll put my arms on his shoulders or something like that. But don’t even ask me to wear a helmet – now that’s gay.”