Despite a consistent record of rejecting all social invitations from friends and acquaintances, Santa Barbara resident Isabella Morris has been feeling incredibly excluded as of late Thursday night.
“It just sucks to feel like I’m not wanted places,” said Morris who absolutely never goes anywhere she is invited.
The catalyzing event transpired last week when Morris saw through Instagram stories that a group of people she sort of knows was having a board game night that she was not asked to join.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Morris. “I mean Sabrina was hosting! Doesn’t she remember that we’ve hung out at least a handful of times over the last few years?”
“She’s always invited me to her parties,” Morris continued. “So why not this board game night?”
“I invite Isabella to all my parties, and she never comes,” said Sabrina Peters. “So I didn’t even think to invite her to this. I just never see her anywhere. Honestly, I kind of thought she moved.”
Morris, who has not moved, now believes that her exclusion from the game night was just one component of a larger pattern of social alienation.
“Even my best friends exclude me!” said Morris. “Just the other day my roommate went to get drinks with her boyfriend and didn’t invite me.”
“I mean, she said ‘do you want to come?’” Morris continued. “But that’s not really the same as formally inviting me. She only gave me, like, two hours notice.”
When Morris’s friends heard word of her hurt feelings, they were less than sympathetic.
“Excluded? Isabella never goes anywhere,” said Jada Shorn. “She seems to hate parties, bars, the beach, homes that are more than ten minutes away from her, clubs, museums, most people.”
“We’re best friends and I was honestly pleasantly surprised when she showed up at my birthday dinner last month,” added Shorn.
However, Morris remains steadfast in her position that people are actively icing her from their plans.
“I guess everyone just decided that they hate me and that I should never be allowed anywhere,” said Morris. “I would really love to know what I did to deserve this treatment.”
At press time, Morris received a text from Peters inviting her to another board game night the following week.
“Oh fuck,” said Morris. “Yeah, I really don’t want to go to that.”