In a relatable story out of Detroit, MI, 28-year-old Halley O’Hara just returned for her second cup of coffee before work, as she had accidentally wasted the first one luxuriating in the quiet joy of the morning time.
“If you’re not careful, that first cup of coffee won’t do anything to help your productivity,” Halley told reporters. “I sat down for one second and, before I knew it, I was basking in the glow of the dawn and embracing the beauty of slowness.”
Halley said it completely fucked up her schedule for the day.
“I was supposed to wake up, pound a cup of coffee, and then grind for eight straight hours to catch up on work I’ve been putting off,” she said. “But instead, I sipped my coffee, reflected on my relationship with the universe, and really connected with my body. What a waste of time!”
Halley explained that she has always struggled with feeling motivated in the morning.
“My plan is always to wake up early and get a head start on my day,” she said. “But, without fail, I always end up embracing the stillness of the morning, becoming one with the silence, and really feeling the cool floor beneath my feet.”
While her mental health has never been better, Halley said her proclivities have put a huge dent in her productivity.
“I just shouldn’t wake up early anymore,” she said. “I get more work done when I wake up at a regular time. I guess because after I commune with the morning sun, I’m hyper-aware that I am worth more than just the work I can produce.”
She added that her soul had become so aligned with the universe that she no longer felt the need to prioritize money, power, social status, or material possessions.
“It’s awful,” she said, looking, like, super at peace.
As of press time, Halley had finished her second cup of coffee, only to realize she had wasted the energy boost on connecting with loved ones on social media and reminiscing on shared memories from days gone by.
“Third cup’s the charm!” she told reporters. “At least, it better be. I swear if I cherish the minutiae of my life any more, I’ll never get anything done!”
