Woman Left Phone at Home?  

In a development that many are calling unprecedented, a local woman left her phone at home?


That’s right: Jana Meyers recently left her iPhone on her nightstand while she ran a few errands.


What the hell?


The incident occurred on Tuesday, when Meyers decided to make a quick run to the grocery store and post office. Those who have been following this story closely will be surprised to learn that it wasn’t her original intention to leave without her phone; when she got to her car, she realized she’d left it in her house and decided, in the interest of time, to embark without it.


“I just didn’t think I’d need it?” a slightly confused Meyers revealed. “I mean, I was just buying some almond milk and dropping off a package. It took 15 minutes, tops. I don’t really get what the big deal is.”


Haha, what a modest little freak.


Witnesses at the local Stop and Shop reported disturbing sightings of a woman walking around, smiling and making an appropriate amount of eye contact.


“There was just something…off about her,” one of the store’s employees remembers. “Like, what did she think she was doing, just standing there, being present in the moment? Then I realized what was wrong: she didn’t have her phone with her.”


And the weirdness didn’t stop there. Later, while waiting in line at the post office, Meyers reportedly appeared lost in thought and even attempted friendly chitchat with the other people waiting.


“Some of us had important things to do,” said one disgruntled woman who had stood directly in front of Meyers. “Like scrolling through our boss’s girlfriend’s Instagram feed.”

What kind of game was Jana Meyers playing here?


Most of the people who personally witnessed or heard about this strange phoneless occurrence have reported feelings of disturbance and “so what, you think you’re better than me?” Others have been inspired to try leaving their phones at home, sometimes for minutes at a time.


“Oh yeah, I love Meyering,” said a local teen. “It’s this really powerful new kind of high.”


Meyers has for the most part been oblivious to the consternation and social upheaval her actions have caused. She’s understandably distracted; while she was running her errands, her childhood dog had to be put down. She didn’t see her mom’s message in time to make it to the vet’s to say goodbye, a sad but telling reminder of what can happen when you leave your phone at home.