Woman Inexplicably Cleans Her Stove Before Casual Hookup Arrives

Tonya Wallace fell into a common hopeful trap by cleaning her entire apartment, including the stovetop, for a casual hookup last week.


Bryan has not yet taken her out, nor has he paid for anything – not even condoms. But for some unseen reason, Tonya scrubbed the stubborn grease on her stove in anticipation of his appearance.


After their initial hookup in a bar bathroom, Bryan asked for her number, texting her “u up” on a Saturday night only three weeks later. Tonya then removed almost all of her body hair south of her eyebrows and then went to town cleaning her “cozy” one-bedroom apartment.


After making the bed and festooning it with 12 throw pillows, Tonya vacuumed and used a Swiffer Duster on random items throughout her apartment.


She then spent a full 20 minutes trying to clean off her faucets with the hope that Bryan would notice her well-kept home.



Eventually, Tonya moved to the kitchen and after cleaning out the refrigerator and freezer, places Bryan would certainly be checking before drilling her, Tonya then moved onto her proverbial white whale: the stove that she had not cleaned for the past four months.


Tonya took the thing apart, even looking up Pinterest hacks for how to soak the sundry stove parts in order to remove caked on grease. Somewhere at the core of her being Tonya felt that this – a clean stove – would make some kind of difference.


We contacted Byron (that turned out to be his name) about the evening. When asked if he noticed that Tonya had cleaned the stovetop, he responded with, “What?”