In a recent turn of events, 29-year-old Evelyn Jenkins finally got her life together, purely out of spite for her ex-boyfriend Brandon Selsink.
“I just had a sort of awakening. I thought, maybe it’s time to start living the life I want to live,” said Jenkins. “Specifically, the life I want to live is one in which my ex, Brandon, is utterly jealous of my success and sorry he ended our relationship when he sees how much I’ve got going on now.”
Selsink and Jenkins went out to dinner six months ago at an Italian restaurant to celebrate their two-year anniversary, where Selsink decided to end the relationship. Two months later, Jenkins decided enough was enough and it was time to change her life.
Last month Jenkins signed the lease to a new apartment, adopted a springer spaniel and was promoted to Senior Marketing Manager of a popular fitness brand.
“She’s been with the company for four years but all of a sudden three months ago there was a definite shift,” says Elisa Warner, the senior Vice President of the company. “It’s like someone lit a fire under her. But every so often she’ll scream, ‘I’LL GET MY REVENGE, BRANDON.’ It startles everyone in the office but hey, whatever works.”
Inside sources confirm Jenkin’s threw out all the photos that used to decorate her desk and replaced everything with a giant print out of Brandon’s head punctured by thumbtacks.
“I finally have the money, the time and the energy to take a trip. I feel like women are so hardworking and don’t give themselves much-deserved breaks. So I decided I want to treat myself to two weeks in Sicily,” says Jenkins. “I will be posting many pictures of me on the beach. My life is perfect now. See, Brandon??”
Brandon has yet to reach out, however Jenkins is confident that when she has an eight-pack she will get her vengeance.
