In a story emerging from upstate New York, 26-year-old Rachel Heinman is lingering in the driveway of her childhood home, where she will be excited to see her family for 15 minutes and then tolerate them for five more days after that initial period wears off.
“I just can’t wait to get in there and hug my mom and kiss my dog,” she told reporters while still idling in the driveway, hesitating to go in. “And then, 15 minutes later, realize that this will be my reality for the near future and start to build resentment ever so slowly.”
Sources confirm those first 15 minutes will be pure bliss, after which Rachel’s mom will probably make some sort of comment about her body or hair that really throws off the vibe, and it will simply never recover from there.
“For the rest of the five days I’m home, I’ll probably be counting down until I can leave,” she continued. “I’ll probably hide in my room for a bit, then start going on longer and longer walks. The first 20 minutes of being home are such an emotional rollercoaster considering I’ll see-saw from extreme excitement to extreme dread so fast.”
Scientists confirm Rachel is not the only person to feel this way; in fact, they’ve dubbed this the “15:5 Rule.”
“The 15:5 Rule is a great way to measure how you’ll feel in any family holiday-type scenario,” said psychology professor Deirdre McGovern. “Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, Passover, Mother’s Day, or that random time in the summer you come home because you feel guilty for not coming home – you name it – the first 15 minutes are awesome, and the next five days are a slow death.”
Asked whether there is a way to avoid the 15:5 rule, McGovern said, “No,” then amended that statement with, “Maybe siblings would help?”
Sources confirm having siblings does slightly extend the positive side of the 15:5 rule, as there is the rare opportunity for all of you to bond over really wanting to leave.
“Around day three, when something weird happens like my dad starts watching TV on full volume in the middle of the workday, I’ll probably share a knowing glance with my brother,” Rachel continued. “And in that moment, I will yet again experience the 15 minutes of excitement. I love that guy!”
