Leigh-Anne Tyler claims she is completely capable of a perfectly playful, sassy wink. Unfortunately these claims are unsubstantiated, as Tyler cannot wink on cue or in situations where people would be especially impressed by it.
At times when a strategically placed wink would really accentuate a point, Tyler suddenly becomes completely incapable of doing what usually comes so naturally to her. “Last week, I was trying sneak up on my friend Diane. I tried to wink at my other friends to say, ‘Shh, don’t tell Diane I’m coming up on her now!’” Tyler said.
“But I froze. I just couldn’t wink. My face contorted oddly, causing my friends to laugh at me and give me away.”
Immediately following the incident, Tyler recreated the interaction in a nearby park, winking perfectly at a robin.
After months of subtle flirtations with her barista, Tyler felt comfortable enough to compliment his latte art, which she desperately tried to follow with a wink: “But I was just standing there, mouth agape, my eye alternating between being open really wide, to my eyelid fluttering wildly. He must’ve thought I had a nervous tick.”
“I haven’t been back to that café since,” she added, after effortlessly winking at herself in a mirror.
For now, Tyler says she is coping with her affliction with the help of “winky face” emojis, which she’s able to deploy in digital communication “with aggravating seamlessness.”
