Winter Date Ideas That Are All Slippery As Fuck

There is nothing better than sharing the winter season with someone special. The only tricky part is: What do you do with them? Fortunately, there are plenty of fun and romantic wintertime activities that are all extremely slippery and conducive to falling into his arms or the cold, hard ice. Here are five of them.


Ice Skating – You thought it would be cute to have to hold onto your partner for support, but turns out you just dragged ’em down with you, making things even cuter! What are you, in a movie?! Is that a concussion? You’ll know by New Years!


Skiing in New England – Nothing says “slippery” quite like a mountain of snow! Grab your significant other, your cutest puffer jacket, and your highest pain tolerance, and get ready to seriously eat it on even the bunniest of bunny slopes. Your Mom will love hearing about how your face got bruised, and your lover will say, “Not tonight, honey—you’re still oozing,” giving you more cuddle time than you could’ve dreamed of!


Finding Your Own Christmas Tree – There’s something so magical about letting your newest sweetheart in on the oldest family traditions. Especially when there’s a frosty-ass slope and a big ol’ axe involved. Hold onto that trunk for dear life, ‘cause if you don’t, you’re gonna slide all the way back to the car, and there are a lot of nettles in these parts. Either way, you’ll look helpless and adorkable, just the way he wants you!



Movie Night – You thought you were safe, but you’re as wrong as ten-candle menorah. Sure, watching a movie might involve a lot of sitting, but it also involves driving on black ice. Careful, it’s a long walk from the car to the multiplex, so you’ll have to clutch his buff little arms tightly!


Talking – We don’t just mean physically slippery, silly! Hanging out and talking might seem innocuous, but this casual and intimate activity can be a slippery slope. Don’t believe us? Every breakup we’ve ever been privy to started out as a conversation. And let’s not forget, “What are we?” and “Your mother is a nightmare.” In fact, we’d even go so far as to say this is the slipperiest date idea of them all. You two are the Sam and Diane of winter, creating some toasty tension to fuel this relationship through the new year!


We hope you’re as inspired by these ideas as we are! Now, go find your Christmas cutie and hold on tight, because soon they’ll be slip-slidin’ away.