Why We Should Raise the Debt Ceiling and Fast, Because I am Outside Sephora

There’s been a lot of talk in the news lately about Congress going back and forth on whether to raise the debt ceiling. Some are for it, some are against it, and some of us don’t even understand why we have so many metaphorical ceilings, but there’s one thing I do know, and it’s that they better decide fast because I am currently standing outside Sephora.


Now, I know that debt as a general concept is not thought of as a good thing. I’m not entirely sure why because buying things and not technically paying for them right this very second is very easy and fun. And it sure seems like several people who think it’s okay to keep acquiring more and more debt were elected to office, so maybe we should just go ahead and do it, especially since it’s getting cold and I can see the luminizers from here.


The economic implications of not raising the debt ceiling would likely be severe for the nation as a whole and for my skincare regimen. I spent a lot of time streamlining this down to 17 products and it would be greatly unfair if I couldn’t continue to spend an outrageous amount of money on them simply because I don’t have any. Congress is talking about trillions of dollars here, I literally only need like $300 max! What kind of country even is this!?


You can’t just expect the government or me who is currently holding a $9 iced coffee to rely solely on our incoming revenue or call our parents for every little thing. I mean, do you want to find me an Upper East Side babysitting gig literally tonight so I can afford a 5 oz purifying cleanser? This is serious. We don’t want to end up in a recession or living back at home, which is technically worse.


I’m no politician, but I really can’t see any harm in increasing the debt ceiling if the result is that we avoid a financial crisis and I can go inside and buy shit. How can you actually expect the federal government and me who is practically salivating out here to live our lives to their fullest potential without being able to borrow money from someone else to do so. This is America!



I am totally for reasonable spending. Both the government and I plan to start tomorrow.


Hopefully I’ll see you inside!