From a young age, drinking felt like a social necessity, and I uncritically obliged for longer than I’d like to admit. It wasn’t until I woke up with a searing headache after a night of overpriced well drinks (one of many such mornings) and realized that this cycle wasn’t serving me.
It was that very same day that I gave up alcohol for good and began trying to draw the beautiful Arabian stallion that wandered into my backyard.
After years of drinking, it was shocking to find that I couldn’t answer the question, “Why?” Why did I drink? Did I really enjoy the consumption of alcohol or the way it made me feel? I also can’t explain “why” I have abandoned alcohol and also my job in order to try and capture the likeness, essence, and motion of this 1,000-pound majestic beast, but that feels okay. I have been called to this work, and I know I shouldn’t be doing anything else, even if I die before I render this fertile quadruped to my satisfaction.
It is the pursuit, after all, not the final product, that allows us to share in the beauty of God’s eternal creation. And since I stopped drinking, I think my skin is a bit better, too!
Going cold turkey on drinking is hard, but aptly rendering the musculature of the silky, black Arabian stallion that comes and goes from my property as he pleases is impossible. Is Sharpie not good for drawing? I’m really not an artist.
While quitting booze is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I will give those considering this path a word of warning: People are going to treat you different. They’ll say things like, “I never see you anymore,” or “You wouldn’t have had to drink at your goddaughter’s christening,” and “I know you were drawing that stallion. What’s gotten into you? Also, the drawings are not getting better. Are you doing okay?”
This perspective is to be expected of weekend warriors who still don’t realize there’s more to life than getting shitfaced in some filthy bar — not to be mean, just calling it like it is!
Ultimately, I have never felt healthier, more invigorated, and more tortured yet unable to walk away now that I only drink tea and water. The only “drug” I’m on is inspiration, and cocaine so I can stay focused for longer on drawing the stallion!
