Why I Decided Not to Go Out Tonight, Unless Someone Begs Me To

I believe there are two nights in every weekend for a reason: one to stay in and take some time to myself, enjoying an Amy’s frozen dinner and a movie, and another to go out, meet new people, and dance with my friends. Tonight’s my declared night in, and there’s nothing that could convince me to change my plans; unless, of course, someone begs me.


In that case, I’d reluctantly make an exception. There’s still time!


Tonight, I am fully intent on celebrating myself, heating up a pesto tortellini bowl and watching Blackfish with nobody else but me – a self-care ritual that I’m ready to embrace. Whenever I’d get stressed at work with sudden deadlines or too many emails, I’d remind myself of the one night in I’d scheduled to decompress alone. So it would be nearly impossible to convince me to come out to Pianos tonight at all, unless you were planning on really, really begging me. I think five or so texts in a row saying, “Hannah please!!!! We need you!!” would probably do the trick.


Because when push really comes to shove, what else could possibly motivate me to change out of my stretch pants and make the trek downtown aside from all of my friends desperately showing me that I’m wanted pretty much any place else?


Probably nothing, because I’ve already wrapped myself in several blankets and started on the tortellini, which means I. Am. In. For. The Night. No. Questions. Asked. And once I’m full of pasta, no one can ever convince me to drink hard liquor because that would simply be too many weird things in my stomach at once, so good luck to anyone who tries convincing me to pregame with shots of pear Burnett’s vodka! You won’t succeed, unless you leave a ton of voicemails telling me how much everyone’s night would suck if I didn’t come out right now, because you all agree how much you wouldn’t be able to have fun without me.


In a situation like that, I could see myself relenting. It’s only 7pm – I’m just saying, the ball’s in your court.



Sure, I’d much rather lay on my stomach in bed scrolling through home decor Pinterest boards before quietly passing out around 9 pm. But with a concerted enough effort from my best friends, I could also be convinced to smoke an entire joint in an alleyway, get too high and then freak out at how loud the music is in whichever club they’ve dragged me to. This is something that’s very important to me, until it’s not.


You see, I am fully committed giving myself space after a hectic week of interacting with way too many people, unless there happens to be a total, unflagging effort from at least one friend to let me know that I’m wanted elsewhere. I hold my values close, but if anyone begs me enough, I will actually throw most of them out the window. So while I’m definitely parked at home for the rest of the night, if anyone is out doing anything fun, hit me up!!