Why Feminism Is Useless Unless the Feature-Length Toy Commercial Wins Every Single Oscar

After four waves of feminism, one would think that our society would finally be at the point where a blockbuster film helmed by a white woman and starring a white woman would get the recognition it deserves, but sadly, it looks like all of the years women have fought for their rights were all for naught. Obviously, feminism is totally useless if it doesn’t prop up the blonde, white women who starred in and directed Barbie, the blockbuster hit that made history for making over $1.4 billion worldwide.

 

Sure, America Ferrera might have been nominated for best supporting actress for the very same film, and Lily Gladstone made history as the first Native American to be nominated for best actress, along with Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Danielle Brooks being nominated for best supporting actress, Justine Triet being nominated for best director, Greta Gerwig being nominated for best adapted screenplay, and Margot Robbie getting a nomination for producing, but all that means nothing if the director and lead actress for Barbie weren’t nominated!

 

Everybody knows that the Oscar Awards Ceremony is the pinnacle of feminist praxis!

 

If you still don’t get it, let me break it down for you: Barbie is feminist because it’s pink and discusses the patriarchy. It may also be a film that was created to be widely well-received by the masses in order to inspire its audience to buy Barbie-related products and merchandise, but that’s beside the point! Who cares about the capitalist aspects of the movie when MARGOT ROBBIE is starring and GRETA GERWIG is directing?

 

Like, c’mon, people! They had a line about going to the gynecologist!

 

No, I didn’t see Anatomy of a Fall or The Color Purple or The Holdovers or Killers of the Flower Moon, or any other films that had feminist undertones or women of color leads — stop asking me that! Obviously, none of those other films compare to Barbie, which is about the specific struggle of being a cis, straight, white, conventionally attractive woman in a world made for men.

 

 

Hillary knows what I’m talking about!

 

Even though Gerwig was nominated for best director and best original screenplay for Lady Bird in 2017, I am still shocked and appalled by the Academy of Motion Pictures’ deliberate shunning of her genius, this year, specifically. And that’s why I’ll be wearing my pussy hat while watching this year’s Oscar Awards at the watch party that I’ll also be hosting.