Why I Don’t Masturbate Until 10 PM, Like The Europeans

I consider myself a worldly person. I love to travel and I love exploring other cultures, learning the differences between how people across the world live their lives. To me, there’s nothing more interesting than immersing myself in a foreign way of life, absorbing a country’s customs while I’m visiting. And sometimes, I even incorporate aspects of the way they live into my life back home. That’s why lately, I’ve been waiting to masturbate until 10PM, just like the Europeans.


You see, lots of Europeans operate on a different schedule than Americans. They go to work later, they leave work earlier. They even eat dinner late, sometimes around 9PM. And as a whole, they’re thinner, healthier, and, in my opinion, happier. So I’ve been changing my schedule around, in the hopes that I can live my life like a European and reap all the benefits that come with it. While I normally flick my bean pre-shower and post-dinner at 7 or 7:30, I’ve now started waiting until I’m done with all my other obligations before I get busy with myself. It’s the European way and I have to say, it’s much more pleasant and just a little bit cooler to talk about, I think.



Sure, I may not live my whole life like our friends across the pond. I’m not huge on bread, my apartment is not minimalist in the least, and I’ll definitely never be as effortlessly fashionable as a French woman. And of course, I don’t have insurance guaranteed by the government. But altering small parts of my days to make my life more European has radically changed the way I live in so many amazing ways. So I plan on continuing my continental practice of waiting until much later in the evening before I whip out my vibrator and go to town on my clit.


Some people may think I’m trying to be someone I’m not by emulating a culture that I’m not a part of. But Europeans have been putting off their late night sexy one on one time for thousands of years – longer than the US has even existed, so I’ll trust them on this one. Ten – or even close to 11! ­– in the evening is the perfect time for getting yourself off, for me and also for a whole continent of very chic and horny people.


So next time you decide to masturbate, wait until a little later. Take a siesta. Let that orgasm simmer. It gives it that little extra je ne sais quois.