When I turned 28, I realized so much of my mental energy over the past decade was spent seeking sexual validation from men. It made me feel uneasy, so I decided to challenge myself to not have sex for a whole year.
The three sexless years after that wasn’t part of the challenge, but sort of just happened.
It definitely wasn’t easy at first: I had been so used to hooking up with men who weren’t treating me right or giving me the love I knew I deserved. But I made a commitment to myself that instead of enduring those awkward nights leaving unsatisfied, I would just decline all sexual invitations.
In my celibate year, I learned that you can still get off without sex. After a year, I thought I had learned this lesson pretty well. You should have seen me after three more years! I was foaming at the mouth desperately trying to fuck but not finding someone who wanted to do it with me. After one sexless year by choice and three more due to not being able to lock a guy down, I really learned that lesson.
By taking a year off from sleeping with anyone, I learned that there is so much more to life than sex. You can go on a run, see a movie with friends or go out to dinner with your co-workers. After the first year, you won’t even think about sex anymore. Instead, you’ll spend the next three years missing it and fantasizing about every warm body you pass on the street!
When I told my friends what this year was like for me, they admired me for practicing self-restraint and not needing a man to feel confident. Little did my gal pals know after year one, I texted literally every guy I’ve ever fucked begging, “Please, please come over. I need this” and got pretty much no response. I didn’t know you could survive this long without dick, but here I am, aimlessly wandering about saying, “Wanna fuck?” to men I pass on the street.
To anyone taking on this challenge, I highly recommend doing it and see how much your life can change for the better. But I also recommend not doing it for the three years that follow. That part was very bad.