We Ranked Every ‘Euphoria’ Character and It’s Totally Not Just to Make You All Argue in the Replies

Yes, bitch, we put Rue in a Jacobs sandwich! Oh, Calvin. He’s abusive, predatory, a dreadful father, but also honestly having one of the best arcs this season. In fact, this ranking is genuine. But we mean, so are all of the other ones. These are all our steadfast, unmotivated, polarizing beliefs.