In a thrilling development for the art world and our culture at large, the renowned anonymous street artist Banksy has finally been found, and he’s under this cup right now!
“The true identity of the Bristol graffiti artist known as ‘Banksy’ has eluded the public for decades,” Luci Townes, the person watching the cup right now says. “We still don’t know his name because his tiny screams are so muffled by the walls of this paper cup, but if we slide a piece of paper under and get him into an open terrarium, we should be able to learn some details.”
Banksy has long been known for his sort of subversive street art, some of which has explicitly anti-capitalist overtones, and some of which is just sort of random.
“As an artist, Banksy is notorious for his cheeky antics, such as framing a piece for auction in a shredder that was activated as soon as it was sold,” says Townes. “He’s got a good sense of humor, which makes us hopeful he won’t be too mad when we release him from this cup. He’s so little!”
According to sources, Banksy was found while doing one of his stencils on the outside of a Wells Fargo. He was allegedly positioned at the top of a full-size latter, with his thighs wrapped around the cannister of spray paint, using both hands to press down on the nozzle with all his might.
Art historian and critic Josefina Flores weighed in on the significance of this discovery.
“Love him or hate him, Banksy has had a profound impact street art,” says Flores. “Furthermore, we now know he is four inches tall, which is so cute and awesome. How do I feel about this? Thrilled. Imagine a little guy like that. We just couldn’t be happier.”
At press time, Banksy had drawn Mickey Mouse flipping the bird on the inside of his cup with the keychain-sized Sharpie he keeps on his person, then passed out from the fumes.
“I can’t wait to ask him questions about his work in Gaza when he comes to,” says Flores. “And to feed him some pieces of lettuce.”