Dr. Chanice Richardson has listened to all of your woes and celebrations for over three years now. However, today she told you that your choices were “totally valid” when you hooked up with your friend’s boyfriend last month.
Oh no! Looks like Chanice has been a messy bitch all along!
“I’m so proud of you for putting yourself first,” she told you, after you confessed to betraying your good friend of 11 years who has never wronged you. “Sometimes you can’t always be concerned about how others will feel about your decisions, even if your friend has deep-rooted trust issues that you definitely just unearthed, maybe even permanently.”
Wow! We didn’t know toxic positivity existed until right now!
“It’s not just this instance,” you told reporters. “She also told me that I was in the right when I skipped my friend’s birthday dinner to play Animal Crossing instead, declined my mom’s calls for a whole month, and stole $500 worth of clothes from a small, family-owned business. I’m starting to think she actually wants me to be a menace to society.”
Sounds about right!
According to your therapist herself, this is all part of her holistic practice.
“People are often afraid to give into their desires, which is really disappointing,” she said. “So, whenever my clients talk to me about the times when they’ve put others’ needs before their own, I always try to coax that dangerous behavior away, even if they’re talking about their best friends, their spouses, or their kids.”
Despite your concern about how supportive Chanice was about you fucking your friend’s boyfriend behind her back, the points your therapist made surprisingly helped you improve your relationship with yourself.
“When she said that what I did was actually ‘really cool’ and that she wished she could be as courageous as me, it allowed me to take a step back and realize, on my own, how bad the thing I did was,” you said. “Sometimes you can’t rely on others to tell you what you did was bad, and I’m so grateful to Chanice for teaching me that.”
Reverse psychology queen!
At press time, you got a new therapist who actually tells you when you’re doing something harmful, so you’re lying to them about still fucking your friend’s boyfriend.
