Uh-Oh! Dad Has Added Brother To ‘Shit List’

In a troubling development, it appears that Paul Stevens of Duluth, Minnesota, has added his son, Robbie, to his shit list this past Wednesday.


The incident began earlier this week when Robbie and his older sister, Meredith, came home from college to visit their parents during spring break. Tensions immediately ran high as Paul began distributing chores for the kids to complete during their visit.


“He asked me to pull weeds from the driveway,” Robbie tells us. “I don’t want to do work while I’m home for vacation.”


Robbie’s refusal to pull weeds meant he was immediately placed on Paul’s infamous “shit list”, a shame that had not been bestowed on Robbie since high school when he called his mother a “bitch” for not letting him go on the school’s ski trip.


“It sucks,” Robbie tells us. “No one wants to be put on their dad’s shit list.”


Paul, 49, has been curating and developing his “shit list” for as long as his two children have been alive, to track and catalogue personal frustrations. While the direct results of being placed on the index are unclear, the Stevens’ children know all too well that being added to the list can only mean bad news.


“It’s terrible,” says Meredith Stevens. “Once you get on that list it’s hard to come back from it.”


Though no physical list exists that the kids are aware of, a new inclusion on the catalogue will always be announced verbally, usually accompanied by profanity.


Sources confirm Robbie’s placement on the list was followed by his father growling to the room at large, “God dammit Robbie, you’re really getting on my shit list today.”


“The phrase ‘shit list’ still sends chills down my spine to this day,” Meredith tells us. “Like, what does it really mean to be put on that list? What’s going to happen to me? To this day I don’t know, but I don’t want to find out.”


Though Robbie eventually succumbed and pulled weeds from the driveway for an hour and a half, this act alone was not enough to scrub his name from his father’s shit list entirely.



“Mom asked me to go pick up some stuff from the grocery store as well,” Robbie tells us. “When I hesitated, Dad was immediately like, ‘Watch it son, you’re already on my shit list’. So I got in the car and went to Wal-Mart. I didn’t want to risk it.”