Torture Yourself With These Food Videos, You Psycho

So you’ve done it: you’ve trapped yourself in an endless spiral of delicious time-lapse food cooking videos. Lucky for you, there’s plenty of food in your kitchen! Unlucky for you, you are a lunatic that would rather watch these videos than get up and cook food to eat. Here are some great ways to torture yourself by watching on loop until you’re finally tortured to death:


Oreos Crushed Up and Made Back into Oreos

One great way to torture your sad, hungry belly is to watch any video where someone crushes up some Oreos and forms it back into something that is still an Oreo. You know this pretty well, since you’ve been sitting on your computer watching these videos all day, on repeat, until they magically appear in front of you. They never do. You have to make these recipes yourself, but for now you’re content watching them over and over until you starve to death.


Avocado Wrapped in Bacon Wrapped in Avocado Wrapped in Bacon

Like most savory food videos, this recipe features something delicious that you like stuffed in something else delicious that you like, wrapped in itself. It looks so good that it makes you want to die, which is the only thing that could explain why you’re not feeding yourself right now. Quit drowning yourself in the idea of yummy food and go swim in that pool of yogurt that’s readily available to you! You don’t see the irony in passing out from hunger watching food videos? You don’t? Wow!!


Rainbow Grilled Cheese

Your belly is audibly rumbling, and not in a casual reminder way. It is begging for nourishment. Well what better way to feed it than by watching a bird’s-eye view of possibly the most delicious, unnecessary food you’ve ever seen? Does colorful cheese make a ton of sense? No, but neither does sitting on the couch and not eating anything at all even though you’re very malnourished. You could’ve made a really solid grilled cheese in the time it took to watch this video. What is wrong with you?



Four Different Ways to Cook Fried Chicken

Girl, you have never made fried chicken in your life and you never will! Watching these vids is pure fantasy. But you know what’s not a fantasy? Your stomach is crying. This is beyond growling–it’s weeping real tears because you are too lazy to go to KFC. Go to KFC! Or even try some local farm-to-table restaurant, but eat some fried chicken. Please. There isn’t much time left!


So next time you think of following a page that posts hypnotizing food videos, ask yourself, “Why do I enjoy this torture so much?”