How to Clean Off the Cobwebs You Grew While Waiting For Him to Commit

You’ve been with your guy for a while and for some reason, he can’t seem to admit that you’re in a committed relationship. At first you were cool with it, and said that he should take his time. Now you’re all covered in cobwebs because it’s been several years now. Here’s how to clean off those cobwebs while you wait for him to finally admit that you’re “in a relationship.”


Wet Rag

Use a wet rag to get all up in there and wipe those cobwebs away while he is “just trying to figure things out, okay?” Those cobwebs have been slowly growing as you’ve been sitting and blinking waiting for your guy to say, “You know what? I’m one-hundred percent in this.” Now you’re a sad, dusty woman running an old rag under the faucet so you can become clean. As you feel the rough fabric against your skin, remember, someday soon he will maybe realize that you are worth it.




If the cobwebs are getting pretty thick, you can blast ‘em away with a pressure hose geared mostly toward power-washing decks and homes. Sure, the water pressure might hurt, but it can’t hurt more than being told by the person you’re in love with that they might re-download Tinder “just to see what’s out there.” You’ve always prided yourself on being chill, but maybe you were chill enough for the cobwebs get out of control and now you’ve got a real mess on your hands. Better turn up the pressure on that hose!


Violently Shake Yourself

If you can’t bring yourself to take action against your grimy body, or in the status of your relationship, don’t let those cobwebs turn into sobwebs! Your man told you that he could see himself getting married to you one day, but then when you brought it up a few weeks later, he got mad and yelled, “I never said that!” Is this a red flag? Who cares? You literally are willing to wait forever for him to get on the same page as you. Because you can’t bring yourself to wipe or rinse the cobwebs away, just shake your body really hard so at least some of the dirt and insects will fall off. At least you’ll still be the fun person who decided to “give him some space” in a very chill way. He is going to commit, you just know it!


Men work on their own timeline—an extremely slow and cobweb-developing timeline. When you’re waiting for your future husband to man up and decide to commit, you’ll inevitably grow some cobwebs but with these tactics you’ll be able to remove them and pretend this didn’t bother you in no time!