Displaying the kind of resolve and focus that pundits at media outlets from the New York Times to Vox.com have advocated, Florida racist Jen Mitchell refuses to let herself be distracted by Donald Trump’s incendiary tweets. In fact, the 43-year-old mother of two has remained steadfast in ignoring the late-night ramblings of the president elect that many have speculated are distracting the public.
“Excuse me, but I just have more important things to do,” says Jen. “Like getting my kids off to homeschool, or telling the day laborers outside of Home Depot to get out of my country.”
Demonstrating her ability to focus solely on advocating for white supremacy, Mitchell admitted she was unaware Trump tweeted that flag burners deserve to lose their citizenship.
“Oh, I don’t let myself get wrapped up in that Twitter stuff,” Mitchell says. “I’m just excited that we finally have a president who puts real Americans first.”
While many have worried that Trump’s tweets are a distraction from his controversial cabinet appointments, conflicts of interest, and unprecedented refusal of media access, Mitchell has proven the naysayers wrong by refusing to take the bait.
“I didn’t vote for Trump because of what he tweets,” she explains. “I voted for Trump because I want our jobs back from the Mexicans, I want the hundreds of ISIS members coming into our country every day to be stopped, and because I don’t think having white skin is a crime.”
Mitchell proudly admitted similar ignorance to Trump’s social media statements on Hamilton, protesters, CNN, and the New York Times.
“Twitter is just a distraction,” says Mitchell. “That’s why I get my news from real sources: Breitbart, TheEagle.Macedonia, my nephew’s memes, and secret Facebook groups whose names I won’t tell you because I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me and my friends.”
“We’re good people,” she adds.
While the coastal elites have been fretting about the first amendment and mental instability, Mitchell has never wavered from the prejudice that inspired her to vote for Donald Trump in the first place. Since November 8th, Mitchell has attended a celebration in her all-white church basement, posted five articles about white genocide, and bought a gun to protect herself from ISIS.
“Why are all of you talking about his Twitter?” Mitchell asks. “What the media should be focusing on is Michelle Obama’s plan to start a race war by poisoning the White House garden.”
Here’s to Jen keeping her eyes on the prize!