In a moving turn of events last Friday evening, Cara Corrigan was absolutely stunned by her own beauty when she put on mascara for a friend’s birthday party.
“I’ve never been much of a makeup person, and since the pandemic, I stopped wearing it altogether,” says Cara. “I’ve grown completely accustomed to how my bare face looks, so when I made the last-minute call to put on mascara before Maia’s party, I was frankly shocked by my astonishing beauty.”
Upon endowing herself with the feature that shows us what cartoon animals are girls, Cara didn’t quite recognize the face looking back at her in the mirror.
“I always thought I was attractive in a lowkey, non-threatening way,” Cara says. “But in mascara? I’m a Hadid sister, I’m a femme fatale, I’m an androgynous 80s rock star sex god, but also I’m Jackie O.”
Sources confirm Cara’s report that she felt unbelievably gorg.
“She FaceTimed me that night,” says Cara’s friend Isa Nakamura. “The first thing she said was ‘Can you believe this?’ and I didn’t know what she was talking about, though I now understand it to have been in reference to her beauty in mascara.”
“She looked good,” Isa adds. “I mean, obviously she’s my friend and I think she’s beautiful; to me she just kind of looked the same as always but with more visible eyelashes.”
Accounts differ on this specific manner, as Cara maintains it was a radical transformation that made her almost unrecognizable in her double-take, stop-on-the-street-to-stare level beauty.
“It’s actually frightening to imagine the sort of life I would lead if I looked like this all the time,” says Cara. “The hearts I would break, the sheer quantity of poems that would be written about me, the bodies of work generated. It would really be a cultural shift as well as a personal one.”
But despite the destructive and productive power allegedly at her fingertips, Cara does not intend to wear mascara regularly or even any time again soon.
“I don’t know if that’s the life I want for myself; I just want to be a normal person,” Cara says. “Plus, this stuff is really a fucking nightmare to take off.”