Thanks to breast pumps, more and more mothers can nourish their careers and their babies at the same time. But what if you’re not producing enough milk to keep your newborn satiated? The right Google alert can keep the milk flowing, even as you’re firing off follow-up emails. Here are the five key phrases that’ll turn you into a lactation sensation:
“Credit Card Points”
There’s nothing we like more than a good life hack, but credit card reward points are a close second. A recent study on Chase.com linked increased rewards points with larger increased milk production. “I’m not sure exactly how mammary glands work,” says one expert, “but I’m pretty sure bigger ones produce more milk, and the Chase Freedom card definitely has the best reward program.” You’ll be able to use your points at places like Amazon, Nordstrom, or Overstock.com so you can buy a new wraparound dress to cover your overflowing breasts.
“Mexico Oil Stocks”
The Mexican government is working out a bill that will allow foreign companies to invest in their oil sector. If you’re planning on tapping your own natural resources, keeping current on south-of-the-border business is a must. “Most women are unaware of the natural benefits of the stock trade,” points out one doctor. “But the area of the brain that processes high-pressure trading decisions is also responsible for lactation.” By increasing your oil stock, you’ll also be increasing your milk stock. And that’s muy bueno.
Crate & Barrel Coupon Codes
Shopping sales for big-ticket items will give new mothers an extra boost of adrenaline they need to pump enough milk for the entire workweek. Crate and Barrel happens to have excellent seasonal sales, so you’ll be the first to snag that mid-century credenza. Shopping online can actually produce more adrenaline than in-store, and the satisfaction of snagging a kill will allow you, your body, and breasts to relax into a more productive state.
“Justin Theroux No Shirt”
Sexual arousal increases blood flow to the nipples, so they’ll take to the pump easier, leaving you with plenty of Leftovers. Unfortunately, lactating mothers often feel less sexy post-partum, which is why it’s even more important to keep your libido up. “Look at the man,” says Denise Sigerson. “There is no way he won’t your juices flowing.”
Your Own Name
As a new mother, your personal brand is more important than ever. But as your online persona grows, you may feel the need to take more control. Managing your online presence is a natural ego boost and milk booster, and a Google alert helps you nip any issues in the bud before they become a PR disaster. The nutritious power your bestowing on your baby will give them confidence to climb the ranks in future job markets.
Now it’s as simple as setting up your alerts, strapping on that pump, refreshing your email constantly, and waiting for the milk to flow!
