We’ve all been there. You and your BF just got into a huge fight and you were totally right but he absolutely refuses to apologize. In order to get him to admit how completely and utterly totally wrong he is, he’s going to need some encouragement and a good example of exactly what an apology should be. That’s where you come in! Here’s how to craft the perfect apology for something you 100% did not do in order to inspire his apology for something he did.
Start gentle
Get his attention at first by saying something like, “Hey, can we talk?” in a voice that’s a mix of caring, apologetic, and just a little bit condescending. This easy intro will set the tone that you’re really interested in working things out and will also remind him that he could have started this conversation all by himself if he weren’t such a manchild.
Acknowledge his viewpoint
Start off your apology by demonstrating to him that you know how he feels. Saying something like, “I understand that you thought texting my mom that I’m pregnant would be a funny April Fools joke” will make him feel understood, even if his actions were completely unbelievable. He’ll also get a grasp of a good beginning for his own apology that won’t make you upset—a very important lesson!
Tell him that you care about him
At this point, he’s probably going to know some critical feedback is coming, so be sure to reaffirm how much you care about him. This will set an example for his own apology to give you some positive reinforcement while also serving as a reminder that you do have strong feelings for him even though sometimes you have to walk him through how to fucking apologize like an adult.
Apologize
This is the big part: say you’re sorry! Of course, you don’t actually have anything to apologize for, so just say sorry that he felt the need to do what he did. If he’s smart, this will be the point where he cuts you off and says “No, I’m the one that should be sorry” and enumerate his flaws and complete responsibility for the situation from there. If he needs a little more inspiration, double down to prove how absolutely blameless you are in the situation. Something like, “I should have known that telling you it’s my mom’s birthday would make you want to play a prank and it just didn’t occur to me.” This will literally force him to finally apologize, the goddamn disappointment that he is.
If all else fails, just say something positive, like, “I love you and I just don’t want us to fight anymore.” This establishes the fact that you love him and the relationship is important to you while also putting the ball in his fucking court. Congratulations! You have finally won the apology!
