The Best Winter Running Gear for Showoffy Little Cunts

These light-as-air running shoes are perfect for jumping over sludge puddles and snow banks like you’re a fucking husky in the fucking Iditarod. You know, a husky who takes a picture of its mile split times on its FitBit and posts it to Instagram as if to say to all its husky friends, “OooOoOooh look, me a showoffy little bitch who is sooOooOo impressed with myself!”