You’ve just decided you’re going to move in with Jeremy. Congratulations! The relationship is officially moving in a positive direction. But remember, now you’re going to have to spend almost every waking minute with this man whether you like it or not. Getting cold feet? We thought so. Just take a step back, breathe a little, and take a look at these perfect bunk beds that will keep a considerable distance between you and your man! Tell him it’s a space-saving investment and you’ll be free to sleep with your arms outstretched (within the confines of a twin bed with a rail guard).
Outdoor Adventure Bunk Bed
While childish in design, this bunk bed provides a built-in slide perfect for escape in the middle of the night or whenever you’re feeling emotionally and physically trapped. You can also pretend you’re steering a course away from this relationship with the ship’s wheel. Remember to keep your luggage and personal belongings packed ahead of time in case you need to vanish from Jeremy’s suffocating presence forever!
Playtime Tunnel Bunk Bed
This non-traditional bunk bed will take a while to set up, but the end result will be totally worth it! Make sure to claim the top bunk, though—its coffin-like design makes it literally impossible to have sex up there. It’s like you’re at camp again, where boys would never pressure you to get serious or mention anything about having kids someday!
Standard Ladder Bunk Bed
Uh oh, this one has a ladder, and Jeremy has basic motor skills! Fortunately for you, it’s not directly welded to the body so you can pull it up into bed with you in case Jeremy gets any of his “cuddling” ideas.
Red, White, and Blue Bunk Bed
You can’t afford separate bedrooms like in Edwardian times, so this cute bunk bed will just have to do. The bright colors and smooth wooden frame will perfectly complement your innocent and sometimes confusing feelings toward Jeremy.
Triple-Decker Bunk Bed
When all else has failed, this three-story bunk bed might just do the trick. It’s absolutely crucial you have at least one buffer bed between the two of you—that way you can keep the independence you had before you started cohabiting. Make sure you reserve the middle bunk for guests only and invite them over as often as possible! Soon Jeremy will stop asking you about your day and you’ll forget he’s even a part of your life.
Moving in together is a scary step. Combat the awkward, forced intimacy of close quarters with these practical bunk beds. It’s a great way to reconnect to your childhood while also hedging your bets on the future of this relationship!