Ever wondered what’s going through his head while he’s getting in your bra? One word: boobs. And not just yours—lots of people’s boobs. The average man is thinking about approximately eight boobs during any given trip to second base. Here’s our guide to whose breasts your man’s got on the brain while his hands are on yours:
His ex-girlfriend’s left boob.
He went out with his ex for three years, so he’ll never forget the magical times he shared with her and her bigger left boob. Don’t be jealous—remember, he’s with your left boob now.
Both the boobs on that girl who’s always using free weights at his gym.
He still hasn’t figured out if she wears a sports bra or if the bra is built into her top or if they just hold themselves up with their own boob strength. He has a lot of questions for this girl, but don’t worry—out of respect for you, he just watches her boobs in the mirror while he’s on the treadmill.
The boob he touched accidentally on the subway this morning.
He didn’t mean to touch it as he was squeezing past that lady to get off the train, and he’s felt a bit weird about it all day. Weird, but excited. These are precious, precious memories for him—please don’t spoil them by getting your boobs all in a bunch.
His boss’s boobs.
His lady boss’s boobs add another level to every meeting, but he’s a professional and tries only to think about them while at work.
Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs, even though he told you he didn’t look and would never look because that is criminal.
He’s a good guy (of course he is—he’s your guy!) and although he shared your outrage when the iCloud hacking story broke, he did immediately download every photo of J-Law’s boobs he could find. You will never locate them on his computer because he has three online aliases and operates two proxy servers—look at you, with your very own Edward Snowden of boobies!
Your guy has a lot of boobs to think about, so try to be understanding when his mind wanders as he’s cupping yours. And you thought he couldn’t multitask!