Your dear friend Trish finally made good on her promise that she could “just die in this club,” and kicked the bucket mid-rave. Rest in peace, Trish! Perhaps anticipating her own early, strobe-lit end, Trish had already requested via Snapchat that her body be cremated and scattered amongst the hottest nightlife of her favorite town: Las Vegas. Here are the most necessary dance spots to hit up while honoring the wishes of your dear, party-loving friend:
1. Encore Beach Club
With its giant man-made beach, this salty spot outside the Mandalay Bay casino adds a serene element to the high-octane insanity that Trish always loved. Wade into the water (it’s heated!!) during the next DJ set, and sprinkle her ashes into the tideless depths while sipping a frozen piña colada in her favorite novelty mug. And don’t worry, the beach’s 200+ internal pumps will pick up and recirculate her body throughout the club all night, up until she eventually gets sucked into the pool filters. That’s so Trish!
There’s nothing quite like a rooftop for a dramatic plunging V-neck, or for a dramatic plunge for the ashes of your departed friend. That’s where The Palms’ Ghostbar gets it right. High above the strip, with views of the Outback Steakhouse, the Las Vegas National Golf Course, and Treasure Island Resort & Casino, this lounge has plenty of yummy whiskey cocktails, and plenty of balcony spots from which to release Trish’s ashes. From that many floors up, her remains are sure to ride the desert winds all the way to Salt Lake City and beyond. Fly, girl! Fly!
3. LIGHT Nightclub
Grab a Red Bull and head to this laser-lit arena, where the house music is almost distressingly raw, the drinks are cold, and the bartenders are hot hot hot! Trish always loved a good sensory mix in the clubs. And it wouldn’t be a true night out without the full range of stimulants, so if some of her ashes happen to spill out into the coke while you’re cutting a line, so be it. Trish would have thought that was “fucking killer. All night! All night crew!” Oh man; we really miss Trish.
4. Hakkasan Nightclub
Who says a hip-hop concert is no place for a funereal ritual? This cavernous concert hall near the MGM is the perfect spot for Trish’s corporeal remnants to get down and dirty with hits from chart-topping hip-hop artists. Try rushing the stage and sprinkling some of her ashes there before they drag you away. Didn’t she always say she wanted to be a hype girl at a Tyga concert? Why deny her bucket list wish just because she’s currently residing in a beer bucket (also on her bucket list)?
5. Thunder Down Under
Take Trish’s ashes to the next bachelorette party! Have one of the sexy dancers give Trish’s urn a lap dance she’ll never forget, even on the other side. It’s like you’re bringing back her turnt-up spirit with this erotic dance. And the bride will love celebrating with Trish, who can’t actually be there to order that eighth round of shots. You can hear her now: Shots! Shots! Shots! Goodnight, gentle friend. You would have drawn on her sleeping face, had she not asked to be cremated. She knows you guys too well!
These dank nightlife spots are the best places to honor Trish’s last wishes. Nothing makes a departed soul rave again like the flashing lights and paralyzing dissonance of a Vegas club. Trish will thank you, some day, in party Heaven. This one’s for you, Trish!