If you want to get rid of your pubic hair, you should know that there are lots of different options to choose from and they’re all pretty horrible. But which one is right for you? Keep reading to find out all the ways to get your coochie as unnaturally bare as possible, even though it’ll be deeply traumatizing, whichever one you choose!
Shaving
Shaving might seem like the perfect way to get rid of those pesky pubes at first, but that’s only if you don’t cut yourself or get any ingrown hairs during the grow-back period. Shaving coarse hair with super sensitive skin can also just be super painful to begin with. Good luck, and try not to nick yourself with your razor or slip and fall down in the shower while trying to look at your own vulva!
Waxing
Stripping your pubic hair off with wax or melted sugar yields some of the smoothest and longest lasting results, but you’re going to have to pay a price. Not only a monetary one, but a psychological one, too. Nothing will prepare you for getting a bunch of your pubes ripped out all at once, no matter how many times you get it done. People say that it gives you less ingrown hairs though, which is cool even though it’s also not that true!
Laser Hair Removal
Getting your pubic hair removed with lasers is a permanent way to never deal with body hair ever again, and it will only cost you $1000-$2000 for eight uncomfortable-to-painful sessions! If you’ve got the money and the pain tolerance, go ahead and get your bush zapped off, girl! Some lighter hair may regrow with time, but your mind will never recover!
Hair Removal Cream
Using products like Nair or Veet are great ways to chemically remove hair on your body, but we’d recommend making a genuine and heartfelt prayer to God before putting it anywhere near your vagina. If you do it safely, God willing, then you’ll have amazing results! If not, simply locate your nearest hospital and check yourself in.
Threading
No one really does this one, but if you’re looking for the longest and most painful experience, then threading your pubes is probably right up your alley!
All of these hair removal options will have you questioning whether you really want to do this, or if society’s hatred and objectification of women makes you think you want to do it. Either way, it’s definitely gonna suck! Your vajayjay will look drop-dead gorgeous though!