Cat cafés are all the rage in major cities and beyond! They’re the perfect place to go if you want to sip on coffee, get some work done and be rejected by cats. That’s right! You’re going to be surrounded by furry little friends who won’t want to play with you any more in this café than they do in real life. Cats really don’t like your energy, and you should really do something about that. Anyway, here are the four best cat cafés for you to experience even more rejection by cats you don’t even know.
Brooklyn Cat Café
The Brooklyn Cat Café offers half-hour time slots to visitors who wish to experience the joy of being ignored by animals who loathe them. Reservations are recommended but not mandatory, and the cats are also adoptable, for anyone looking to go from being rejected in a public place to being rejected in the safety of their own home. This café even offers vegan treats for those who wish to stress eat muesli while being shunned by several kittens. So fun!
Cat Café Neko no Niwa
Cat Café Neko no Niwa isn’t just about cats – it’s also a purveyor of custom cat-themed jewelry, for those who wish to commemorate getting walked away from by a beautiful tabby they only wished to befriend. Buy a brooch in honor of your new buddy who hates you! Ten percent of the proceeds go to CATSI, a nonprofit that serves stray cats who prefer ignoring humans outdoors. You’ll be helping a good cause while begging for love from a bunch of tiny, four-legged affection trolls!
This funky cat café in San Francisco is clean, bright, and has plenty of features to keep its cats occupied with anything other than paying attention to you. Take turns frolicking in the Cat Lounge, where 8-12 furry friends will look at you like, “eh” before turning away to indifferently eat their own vaginas, then make your way to the Tea Lounge, where you can sob quietly about it if you like. This café has all sorts of cool nooks and crannies for you to curl up alone, catless and 100% rejected by the animals you paid to be near!
Le Café des Chats
Le Café des Chats requires reservations, because the kittens and cats here are very popular with those who actively seek out emotional pain caused by animals. Carved out of a brick-bound hole in the wall, you’ll feel ultra cozy in this café as dozens of cats swerve in and out between your legs, but never deem you worthy enough to actually sit in your lap. If you’ve ever met a cat before and thought, “I’d like to pay $5 to be snubbed by dozens more of these milk-gurgling creatures,” then this is the place for you!
If you don’t experience enough rejection by cats in your life, just visit any one of these cat cafés, where you’re get a hearty dose of apathy from dozens and dozens of them at once!