‘Teens are Too Young to Make Rational Decisions,’ Says Man Who Supported Roy Moore

In the wake of the recent mass shooting at their high school in Parkland, Florida, students have taken to social media to share their stories of terror and call for stricter gun laws. But the teenagers have drawn criticism from those who do not support gun control.


“Teens have no idea about the real world yet,” said 55-year-old Gary Bunting, who supported alleged pedophile Roy Moore in the Alabama special senate election. “We can’t be looking to these kids for their takes on serious issues.”


Mr. Bunting, who voted for a senate candidate who dated girls as young as 16 years old, asserted that teenagers are not mature enough to have their opinions taken seriously.


“Of course they think that gun control is the answer to gun violence, they’re children!” said Gary, who endorsed the politician who has dated girls the same age of the children he is deriding. “They don’t have all the information they need to make sound judgments about what’s good for them and what isn’t.”


Gary, who could not fight in the Vietnam War due to “flat feet,” does not seem to see the irony in his stance.


“Gary’s got a few blind spots,” added neighbor Dalton Hoke. “He thinks teenagers are ignorant when it comes to something he’s against, but they’re inspiring when it comes to something he seems to support – like adults having sex with kids, for example.”



When asked about Gary’s stance, several young men and women were suspicious.


“I just saw my best friend get shot,” said one 15-year-old survivor of the Parkland massacre. “I may not have all the solutions to school violence, but I’ve definitely seen more shit than that guy.”


“Those teenage kids don’t know what they’re talking about,” added Gary. “The teenage girls in Mr. Moore’s past knew exactly what they were getting into.”