Eye Creams To Make Your Eyes Completely Disappear
Whale Semen (That new black market site that replaced Silk Road, Price upon request)
Do you have a significant number of lines, folds and nasty creases near your eyes? That happens when you spend years clutching pepper spray while walking to your car alone in dark parking garages. Fear not, m’lady! Whale semen repairs the skin around the eyes while simultaneously destroying the eyeballs. After this unorthodox beauty treatment blasts your eyes into oblivion, you will stop developing stress lines from the slut-shaming daggers people throw at you for wearing miniskirts and low-cut tops. #YesAllWomen #NoMoreEyes
