A monumental new study conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago finds that straight women have comparably fewer orgasms than gay women, but for unknown reasons keep fucking Jeff anyway. Researchers have found that while a whopping 95% of heterosexual men have an orgasm during sexual encounters, only 65% of straight women do, with a scant 13% of straight women even come close to orgasming with Jeff. Despite bringing down the national average with his performance, straight women somehow continue to fuck Jeff.
These groundbreaking findings have researchers wondering, “Why though?” as they continue to tally the straight women who are fucking Jeff, sans orgasm. In some cases straight women fucked Jeff with the knowledge that a friend had hooked up with him and described it as “meh.”
The difference in achieving orgasm between homosexual men and women is far less pronounced, at a respective 89% and 86%. And nothing compares to the disparity of women who sleep with Jeff, who by all accounts in the study, is done with sex after he finishes.
“He just turns over and says, ‘that was fun’ before falling asleep ten-fifteen minutes later,” explained one researcher. “It’s like he’s not even aware there’s another person involved.”
When pressed for their motivations for sleeping with Jeff, some women claimed that it was better than sleeping alone. But researchers question the viability of that claim. And while the study did focus primarily on Jeff, it appears his pattern of sexual behaviors can be seen echoed across a wide scope of men including Matt, Chad, Mitch and Steve as well as in most Keith’s.
Dr. Renee Garcia, who conducted the studies and is also a homosexual woman, told the press, “I don’t really get it. Jeff isn’t even that smart or good looking. It’s almost like these straight women consider it a fun challenge for them to see if they can achieve orgasm. But they don’t. They never do. Not with Jeff.”
