In a recently published study out of the University of Ottawa, it has been determined that the newest form of topical male birth control, which is rubbed into the shoulder, reaches optimal effectiveness when a woman also continues to use hers.
“Our early trials are incredibly promising,” said researcher Dr. Patrick Collins. “But we’ve discovered that most men are unable to stick to the incredibly simple daily regimen for this male birth control to be effective.”
“Fortunately,” he adds, “the accompanying risk of pregnancy can be counteracted if their partners continue to take their own birth control.”
“Despite our best efforts, but this scenario was the only one in the trial that surpassed the success rate of condom use,” said Dr. Olivia Grenshaw, another researcher. “It was baffling to us, because we truly made the medication fool-proof to administer.”
“We figured an ointment would be easy enough,” she added. “Our hypothesis was incorrect.”
Women across the country are not surprised.
“I never had any confidence in male birth control,” said Diana Perez of Skokie, IL. “My husband still misses the toilet when he pees. Why would I trust any of them with our birth control method?”
“I think it’s great that my husband would be willing to use this,” added Rachel Lisbon or Boston, MA. “It would be a cute way for him to show he’s trying, kind of like when he tries to clean the kitchen.”
At press time, scientists were considering a more accessible contraceptive delivery system for men, using Juul pods as a vehicle.