A new study out of Yale University that will certainly have ramifications for felines across the globe confirms that midnight is the perfect time for your cat to do 14 laps of your bedroom really, really fast, especially if you are asleep.
“It’s important for a domestic cat to get a certain amount of exercise every day, and the cats know this,” Lead Researcher Fiona Wright told reporters gathered at the scene. “But many cats forget about their daily exercise during the waking hours, then remember at exactly midnight, which makes it the perfect time for them to run around the room 14 times like a bat out of hell, preferably hitting a bunch of stuff along the way.”
While this necessary action may disturb cat owners, Fiona maintains it’s a sign the cats are keeping their health in mind and should be encouraged.
“As a cat owner, it’s not good for you to get mad at your cat from running around your room at midnight or say things like, ‘Hey, little fucker, quit it!’” Fiona continued. “This sort of reaction can make your cat feel self-conscious when really all they’re doing is trying to keep their body in tip-top shape for their other activities.”
These “other activities” include sleeping for 16 hours during the day, banging the feeder with their hands so a few pebbles fall out, and keeping watch of the birds that pass by your window. Your cat could run around the room 14 times at any normal hour of the day, but sources confirm that’s a lot less fun.
“For our internal clocks, midnight is late, but for a cat who wants to run around a bunch, that’s when the party starts, actually,” Fiona continued. “We shouldn’t impose our internalized fascist beliefs such as ‘bedtime’ and ‘quiet hours’ on these majestic beasts.”
Experts confirm that your cat knows you’re asleep when it starts to run around your room at midnight, but it weighs the options and comes to the solemn conclusion that its exercise is more important than your rest.
“There’s a lot of thinking going on here, we promise you,” Fiona said. “Your cat knows this is annoying. It just does not care.”
The study also concluded that if your cat is asleep in the morning because it was up all night running around the room and you have to move it slightly in order to make your bed, that is actually abuse
