When it comes to scary things, nothing quite comes close to the chilling visage of a ghost. But this ghost is shocking the living just by giving his own cold, limp handshake to anyone he meets.
“I was just a regular, not-so-spooky guy on the corporeal plane,” said the spirit of Henry Willford. “So I’ve had to work with what I have, and what I have is a handshake so moist and flaccid that it strikes dread into the hearts of even the most unspookable individuals.”
Ahh! We’re scared just thinking about his clammy, feeble, handshake!
“I looked into all the things that the living find scary,” said Henry’s ghost. “And I discovered that the most frightening thing I could possibly do is apparate as a friendly ghost, win someone’s trust, and then meet their firm handshake with a limp, dead hand.”
“Trust me, it’s horrifying,” he added.
Henry’s fellow specter friends are just as shaken by his flimsy, ineffective greeting that causes even the strongest mortals to crumble.
“I’m the ghost of a woman who was decapitated,” said the spirit of Mary Westler. “So I’m pretty spooky as is. But I’ve never scared anyone with my ghastly severed head as much as Henry scared me with that handshake. It’s truly spine-chilling.”
“Yeah, my eyeballs drop into my hands on command,” added the ghost of Langston Quimby III. “But even with that gimmick, I feel like I had to turn in my badge and call it quits. He’s a maverick.”
“Look, every ghost has their haunt,” he said. “Mine just happens to be my listless, unnerving handshake that causes anyone to immediately lose any sense that there is still good in this world. Anyway, who still cares about handshakes anymore?”
Trust us, Henry, we do! Ahhhh!