‘So You’re Just Attracted To Everyone,’ Says Woman Who Does Not Understand Bisexuality

After being informed of her friend Alyssa’s bisexuality, Nina Lombardi decided to confirm what she thought that meant by saying, “So you’re just attracted to everyone,” confirming that Nina does not understand bisexuality in the slightest.


“I’m so happy Alyssa trusted me with that personal information,” says Nina. “But I never knew she was so wild! Who knew she’s been attracted to literally every person we’ve ever met or passed on the street.”


While Alyssa has explained that bisexuality doesn’t quite work like that, Nina has no real interest in understanding the intricacies of her friend’s experience.


“It’s definitely made me understand Alyssa on a deeper level,” continues Nina. “Like now when we go to bars, I look around and realize Alyssa wants to fuck everyone here, even like, the dirty old guy in the corner. I’m so proud of her for speaking her truth!”


Despite this, those close to Alyssa confirm that she is selective when it comes to potential partners.


“Alyssa isn’t a wild girl who hooks up with everyone,” says a friend Carla Bolton. “I don’t think Nina understands that just because Alyssa is capable of being attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean that she’s down to bang every single man and woman.”


“Nina seems to think Alyssa is a sex fiend,” says another friend Grant Hausmann. “When I told Nina that Alyssa is currently in a relationship with a man, she was so confused. She was like, ‘So this is just a phase?’ Like, no, is your sexuality a phase, Nina?”


When reached for comment, Alyssa said responses like Nina’s are par for the course.


“Nina’s views are reductive and contribute to a general misunderstanding about bisexuality,” says Alyssa. “But people are always telling me this is a phase, or that I’m probably just gay. I tried to explain that I’m sometimes attracted to men and sometimes attracted women, but she just kept telling me that guys really love that.”


Nina hasn’t come any closer to understanding how her views play into a dangerous stigma that keeps many bisexual people in the closet.


“Oh my god, I love bisexual people,” she says. “But sometimes, I worry they like me a little too much, if you know what I mean.”