In a display undermining gay relationships everywhere, 22-year-old Alison Pinnik simply refuses to stop calling a woman she finds cool her “girl crush”.
With this simple gesture, Alison has made it very clear that girl crushes are a specific and uniquely different kind of crush than crushes on the men she has dated. Regardless, she does want everyone to know that she’s “obsessed with” a queer girl in her Art History lecture who she deems is “hot and smart.”
“I get girl crushes literally twice a month,” says Alison. “Girls are just so cool and pretty. Like Kehlani, you know? I’ve got such a girl crush on her.”
When asked whether she has ever imagined herself dating a woman, Alison was quick to say that the nature of her feelings towards women is strictly platonic.
“I definitely wouldn’t have sex with a girl,” says Alison. “It’s more like I want to be best friends, but also am kinda curious? But not really, haha. Vaginas freak me out.”
Damn, this progressive woman really gets what it means to be queer!
Still, some of Alison’s friends aren’t thrilled with her use of the term ‘girl crush’.
“Alison keeps calling this girl Dana her ‘girl crush,’” says Laurel Hamington. “I keep saying that her name is Dana and she’s like, ‘You mean my girl crush?’ I don’t get what she’s trying to prove here.”
Still, Alison won’t quit calling Dana her “future wife”.
When reached for comment, Dana was quick to respond: “Hm, no thanks.”
Right on, Alison! Keep being a woke bitch who fuckin’ gets what’s going on!