To the dismay of friends and coworkers, San Antonio resident Sarah Carillo is pretending that sweet potato is bread again.
“If you slice it thinly enough, sweet potato is pretty much the same thing as bread,” said Sarah, who has recently returned to a ketogenic diet. “It’s a really versatile vegetable!”
“Cutting out most carbs has really changed my body,” Sarah explained. “I’ve replaced my mashed potatoes with mashed cauliflower, my pasta with zucchini noodles, and of course, my bread with sweet potato. And the best part is, the substitutes I’ve been using are so similar to the originals that you can barely tell the difference!”
“In fact, I actually prefer using sweet potato as bread. It tastes better,” she added, obviously lying to herself and the people around her.
Sarah’s friends have had enough.
“She’s gotten real carried away with this whole ketogenic diet thing,” said Genevieve LeDawn. “Like, I think she’s honestly starting to believe that sweet potato is literally bread. It is not, and it’s offensive to me as a bread-eater that she’s even comparing the two.”
“Sarah invited me to dinner at her place the other night, and she told me she was making pizza,” added Kevin Colligan, another friend of Sarah’s. “The crust was made of cauliflower. CAULIFLOWER! And she didn’t even warn me! You can’t just go replacing carbs with vegetables and not giving someone a heads up.”
But Sarah believes in her diet wholeheartedly.
“Obviously I know that sweet potato isn’t actually bread,” she said. “But I really do think that, if people gave it a chance, they’d like it.”
“It’s almost exactly the same!” she added, delusionally.
