Roommate Just Going to Start Having That Guy Over All the Time Now

Following one vague conversation and several nights of evidence, it has been confirmed that Kendra’s roommate is just going to start having that guy over all the time now.


“She told me when he was going to come over a couple times in the beginning,” explains Dawson. “But now he is here when I get home, when I go to sleep, and when I wake up every single morning, so I guess this is a thing now.”


Dawson explains that she doesn’t have any strong feelings about that guy, but was simply hoping for at least a conversation before he just kind of started living here.


Due to the presence of the new male figure who is apparently living in her home, Dawson now feels she is unable to walk around in her underwear like she always had, or use the shower whenever she wants to, or generally go about her life as if she had one roommate whose schedule she knew and respected.


“Oh, he’s just a guy I’m hanging out with, it’s nothing serious,” says Dawson’s roommate, Sasha. “Like he’s not even my boyfriend or anything. Actually, I don’t know what we are. It’s been crazy but also really fun!”


Despite being “nothing serious,” Sasha has had the guy over 17 days in a row for both late-night and daytime sex fiestas.


“He’s nice, I guess,” says Dawson. “I have nothing against him, except for when he takes up most of our fridge with international cheeses and leaves his skateboard in the doorway and leaves his hair trimmings on every surface of the bathroom and drinks the last bit of red wine I was saving for tonight.”



“That guy” had nothing to comment by press time. Probably because he left his phone charger at home and doesn’t have an iPhone, so his phone hasn’t worked in days.


Still no word on how this horrific problem may be resolved.