In a confusing story out of Brooklyn, NY, born-wealthy friend Madeline Demers is being super weird about you owing her a whole $4.
“I hate to be annoying about it, it’s just been a few days,” said Madeline, of the less-than-five dollars you owe her for a latte she offered to purchase for you. “I’d rather just get it out of the way and put it in the past, you know?”
Madeline, who you’ve bought dinner, drinks, and Ubers several times without expecting a single dollar because you’re friends, went on to passive-aggressively whine about the petty cash she’s waiting for from you.
“It’s not a big deal, you can just Venmo me when you get the chance,” she said, as you approached the lobby of her door manned apartment that her dad finances. “Or Paypal, or Chase Pay, or Cash App. I have them all!”
“In fact, why don’t you just do it right now so we can forget the whole thing. Then I can stop bothering you,” Madeline added as if she’s being normal about in any way about this.
Mutual friends are not surprised.
“Madeline pulls this shit all the time,” said Rashida Douglas. “She will offer to cover something small, and then pester you endlessly for whatever pittance she’s missing. She’s stingy to a really irritating fault.”
“Yeah, she never offers to pay me back if I put something on my card,” said Rebecca Lorraine. “But God forbid she swipes you into the subway because you’re about to miss the train. I’ve already had three reminders from Venmo that I owe her $2.75.”
Sources confirm that there has not been even an inkling that Madeline is going to contribute financially to any of the coke you all did last weekend. And that shit’s expensive.
