In a harrowing tale out of Washington, DC, administrative assistant Raya McDougall is unsure how many more “sounds good!”-s she has left in her.
“It started out as a great catch-all response, the type that says, ‘I’m a guys’ girl, if that guy is corporate America,’” recalls Raya. “But between Slack, email, and real life, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
Sources confirm Raya has responded “Sounds good!” to 26 emails in the past week, and has exhausted all relevant variations, including but not limited to: “sounds like a plan,” “sounds perfect,” and “sounds yes.”
She has even dipped into variations that kind of seem like a stretch, such as “soundo goodo” and the Hebrew phrase “Kol B’seder.”
“When I received my fourth ‘Sounds good!’ email of the day from her I was like ‘Okay, it’s a little much,’” said Raya’s coworker Bryan. “Then I peeked into her office and saw her curled up beneath her desk, rocking back and forth, and I realized she had one, maybe two sounds goods left in her at most.”
Sources confirm McDougall did not indeed sound good.
“I heard an email ping followed by a deafening shriek,” said Raya’s office neighbor, Madison, “I hope everything’s okay? But more importantly, I hope she responded promptly and efficiently.”
EMTs who arrived on the scene were shocked to see the state of things.
“We’re normally called in once someone gets to their last five, maybe six ‘sounds good’s,” said one first responder. “But this girl is clearly at her wits end.”
Raya has since reached the stage where she responds “Sounds good” to everything, even when it isn’t relevant. Her childhood best friend mentioned his dad wasn’t doing well, and Raya responded, “Sounds perfect, thanks so much!” She reportedly followed up a few days later with “Just looping back per our last email. Thanks again!”
“My body…it aches,” whispered Raya, eyes darting to her inbox. “I think I am nearing death. I used to fear the end, but now it just…sounds good. GODDAMN IT, NO.”
Raya was then seen staring at herself in the mirror and slowly mouthing the words “bad…sounds bad.”
At press time, there was a sliver of hope: sources report she replied to her last email, “Sure can do, ace!” which is something kinda different, we guess.
