A new report from New York University shows that waiters aren’t forgetting to write down your order by mistake; they’re not writing it down because it was stupid, you dummy. The study took over five years, leaving researchers with one question, “Why would you order that?”
Whether it’s tacos without onions or pasta with only butter, waiters are actively refusing to writing down your order because your requests are meaningless and silly.
Lead researcher Tracy Tacoma says restaurant guests should probably be worried when ordering out.
“Most restaurant goers are ordering things that are straight up ridiculous,” she tells reporters. “If you order off the menu or make petty requests to remove things from your dish, you are obtuse. Waiters don’t want to write down your dumb orders.”
The study shows that for every 100 orders, 55% of them are dumb and 15% are just daft. This research serves to inform the public about how anxious they should feel when ordering food.
“If people are hyper aware when placing orders,” Tacoma said. “Less orders will be dumb, and more waiters can write things down in their cute little order books.”
While diners everywhere are shocked, long-time waiter Stephanie Toro is not surprised, “Every fifteen minutes some adult baby is asking for chicken tenders and fries. I don’t need to write it down every time. It’s stupid.”
Sorry, chicken tender lovers! Stephanie is not going to write that silly shit down.
This report has made waves in the fields of social science, due to the lack of research on humans in restaurants. Thanks to the report’s success, the university has announced they will be funding two additional studies, one tracking the alarming rates of vodka pasta being served in New York, and another measuring the number of babies using iPads in restaurants.